10 Reasons the Republicans Set the Rules Meeting at 1 AM in Middle of the Night

by David August

1) The Speaker needed to have a serious one-on-one with his son to discuss what they’ve both been watching on their mobile devices.

2) The right wing extremists are busy setting up cameras in the women’s bathrooms to appease Representative Mace’s (South Carolina) fetis- interest in people’s naked bodies.

3) Representative Golden (Maine) got stuck in the gop cloak room and needed the jaws of life to find his spine.

4) Several members of the gop caucus are extremely photo sensitive after musk invaded their personal space and may or many not have bitten their necks.

5) MTG (Georgia) insisted after her boss asked that it take place during Moscow time working hours.

6) Xi was busy with Chinese government business and the Speaker wanted to get his input before making choices that impact the US-China relationship.

7) Secretary Noem wanted to submit a revised budget proposal for DHS but was at the doctor all day trying to get tested to see if she was positive for habeus corpus.

8 )Secretary Hegseth gives his best budget suggestions 8 beers in, and he starts the clock on the day’s beers at midnight.

9) Secretary Rubio wanted to see if he could destroy 16th longstanding alliance _before_ budget bill vote to win bet with Viktor Orbán he could make it more than 15. It’s a $2.50 bet.

10) President wanted the whole evening to try to get flotus to say more than 4 words to him before she goes to bed.

(Or to try to have the American people not notice as the gop tries to destroy our healthcare and other programs.)

[inspired by a Bluesky post by Representative Robin Kelly (Illinois), not approved of nor encouraged by them]

© Copyright May 20, 2025, David August, all rights reserved davidaugust.com

David August is an award-winning actor, acting coach, writer, director, and producer. He plays a role in the movie Dependent’s Day, and after its theatrical run, it’s now out on Amazon (affiliate link). He has appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC, on the TV show Ghost Town, and many others. His artwork has been used and featured by multiple writers, filmmakers, theatre practitioners, and others to express visually. Off-screen, he has worked at ad agencies, start-ups, production companies, and major studios, helping them tell stories their customers and clients adore. He has guest lectured at USC’s Marshall School of Business about the Internet.